Don't call me 'Skinny'

So, it's break time and my insatiable desire for caffeine after one of my favourite lessons with some year 10s has kicked in; I'm waiting for the microwave to come free. I'm feeling a little envious of the soup one of my colleagues pulls out before I bung my mug of milk in to heat up... in around 2 minutes.

Don't under estimate how much can go on in 2 minutes!

As I'm minding my own business, beside the microwave, someone shouts across the room to a new member of the team: "Oh! You're not like Zoe, are you?"

Well. Now I'm intrigued. What am I like? Funny? Colourful? Insightful?

"I have never seen Zoe have a slice of cake. Even if it's someone's birthday. I don't know how she does it," said the voice.

Is that it? I'm thinking.

But it goes on, "She manages to walk past every biscuit, every iced bun, every box of chocolates, every flapjack, every cookie, every cupcake, every muffin, every..."

It went on, like a train with many carriages chugging over a road crossing. Other people then piped up, adding to the endless list of sugary items. It was like being caught up in a memory game from the 1970s.

It was also quite entertaining. And true! But not really what my ego was expecting. Just then the cherry on top of the proverbial well-iced cake came...

"You're so skinny, Zoe!"

Does this comment assume that I don't eat these things because I'm vain? Do I come across as someone who goes to such lengths to keep my weight down? Oh my Gosh! Has everyone been watching me?

What if, I just don't like them? I know this is bonkers to some. And really annoying to others. But, it's true.

Given this scenario, my feelings are clear: I don't call people fat, so don't call me skinny.

Maybe these synonyms for 'skinny' underlie why it annoys me. Nobody wants to be described as: angular, bony, gaunt, lanky, scrawny, emaciated, malnourished, skeletal or twiggy.

Ummm. No thanks! But if that's what you think, please keep it to yourself.

And if you want to say something nice to me about the way I look, try something akin to: "You look great, Zoe."

That always works!

Don't call me skinny just because I don't like cake, biscuits, iced buns, chocolates, flapjacks, cookies, cupcakes, muffins, brownies, meringue, ice cream, scones, jelly, sweets (except milk bottles), tarts, Swiss rolls, Battenburg, jam sponge (I'll take the custard), shortbread, fudge, ice lollies, Danish pastries, doughnuts (unless custardy),wafers, Florentines, eclairs, lollies...

It's annoying.

PS. I LOVE cheesecake! I would have eaten that.